“…You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes, bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it's just life happening.
…Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.”
-Excerpt from The Awakening, by Sonny Carroll
Today, I consider it all a blessing in disguise. It’s been about 18 years since being diagnosed. I spent 10 years being ill, dealing with it, accepting it and healing from it. Then, I spent the next 8 years rebuilding my life in a new light, with a new perspective in life, a new purpose. I reclaimed my self-worth, confidence and inner strength. A lot has happened. I am healthier and I have never been happier. Getting to where I am today is a blessing, and I will forever be grateful.
Over the years of renewing my life and actually living it, I started doing the things I have always loved. I started dancing and took salsa lessons. I socialized, met people and enjoyed life. I got a job I really loved. I moved again several times but this time, it was by choice. :) I worked with great, admirable people. I started connecting with people that made a difference in my life. I continued my spiritual quest. Then one day, I met someone, who soon became my new husband. He is a blessing and he is my second chance. I am in a different phase in my life; more peaceful, more present…happier! :)
Don't get me wrong though, struggles continue to happen in my life and certain moments trigger my anxiety and depression, but I am in a much better place so I handle things differently. I see challenges today as lessons to be learned from. I see hardships as moments that shall pass. I see difficulties as opportunities to strengthen my faith. It's still not easy. I just have more hope and stronger faith and to this day, I am learning to acknowledge each blessing that comes my way. And I hope this helps you in any way.